' Life of a Procrastinator *-

Sunday, August 31, 2008 - Night at the Toyad Bar :

OK! So here's the post.. Since someone wants to know soooo much of what is going on in my i-am-doing-nothing life.

After a long long time of not going out at night, I decided to follow Jill to Euphoria at sunway. For those who don't know, I haven't gone clubbing in ages. Stay home everyday and study ni, so blardy hardworking! So i reached Bangsar Shopping Complex around 9.45pm? and waited for Jill to come get me at 11pm. Practically stoned for a hour or so... But it's ok, who dares to complain, need transport from "Kakak" ma... When i got in the car, I barely recognized who was sitting in front.. Seok Yee. Yup , not Sook Yee, Seok Yee. So, bla bla bla, then started our journey to sunway, the land of incredible jams! OH ya, Jamie was in the car also. Terlupa pulak! So, upon reaching Jam-Land, I decided to do a "smart" thing. I directed Jill to Kevin aka P a n G's hse to park her car. Then we ma jalan jalan to Euphoria, with hopes of having a night of dancing and blasting sounds. But when we got there, all those hopes were thrown into the bin! Euphoria was effing packed!!! The line was like 20x longer than the normal Maisons line. What a club.. lolz! We met up with Mike aka Jill's husband as i understand it. After deciding that Euphoria plan was canceled, we decided to go to a nearby bar for drinks, but sadly no space again... =.=" Finally, Jill decided we'll all go to the Toyad Bar and drink. We went to get 4 bottles of beer from 7-Eleven and drove to the Toyad Bar. That's when the real party started! Jill started off with a bottle of beer, thanks to me cheering her on! xD OH!! Met a few other new friends, namely Alex Kua (Scottish guy i think), Kindir (Did i spell it right? =/), and Jason ( our VIP of the night). So we played some card games, guitar hero II, drink, laugh and took a whole lot of pics. We had loads of fun as we constantly made Jason take sips of alcohol, watching Jason kiss Kindir's neck, singing emo songs and so much more. As i'm not a daily blogger, I dun feel like typing too much. SO im gonna stop here... Tired!!!

Stopped procrastinating at 10:06 AM

Thursday, July 17, 2008 - Holidays... :

Charles's definition of a holiday...

Holiday = Sleep + Eat + Movie + Eat + Sleep

Holidays are amazingly boring!!! Can't wait for my next semester to start, and hopefully, I'll pass all my first semester subjects... Ooooo! And I found a new way to get to college =D. I found this amazing bus that comes all the way from Mid-Valley to Subang! Hehe.. At least now I know I don't have to resort to the damn KTM anymore =D.

Stopped procrastinating at 12:39 AM

Saturday, July 12, 2008 - :

It was a long time ago since I have written anything. The last time I wrote such an essay was when it was for someone. I cracked my head and squeezed my brain till there was nothing left in order to write it. It was not something easy to do, yet I did it because it meant a lot to me. But now, it all seems so meaningless… The file’s gone... I deleted everything that was related to the one person because it was the last thing I could do for that someone. But, in actual fact, I still kept a few. My 3rd drawer is still filled with the letters and notes and photographs and key chains received from that person.

I guess I’m really a person who does not know who he really is. What is the purpose of him living in the world? I have not found out at all. I find myself exactly like a mirror. I have no real personality. My “personality” comes from the world and everything I see, smell, hear or touch. The times alone I have had with myself during my holidays are times which have made me thinking real hard about life. I have always thought about life, but this feeling of thought is somewhat different. I remember when I was young; I actually aspired to be a writer. I enjoyed writing so much that I would grab my green note book and just rant on it. I remember when I was a kid, I wrote on three topics; Joy, Happiness and Love.

Now, which kid in his primary school days thinks about such topics and writes about them? I’m one of those kids. Unfortunately, I never became who I wanted to be. Instead, I gave up my childhood dreams and wishes to become part of the world. To fit in the world. And I am not enjoying it one bit. So I guess I will be frank to myself. I am going to change. I want to live my childhood dreams again. To feel what I used to feel when I was a kid. Life is such a meaningful thing which should not be wasted on such worthless moments. So let me see if I can start writing something now…

I have just watched so many movies on life, the most recent one being “The Bucket List”. The plot of the movie is about two guys who are suffering from cancer. They decided to create a list of things to do before they pass away. As the plot unfolds, you begin to feel how life is so meaningful. It tells us so much about life. I have done so many wrong doings in my life, and for some, I cannot seem to forgive myself. I have hurt people which are dear to me. But life is not really about telling yourself you cannot forgive yourself. It is about what you do after you know you have done wrong.

I am trying to find my meaning to my life, for those of you who read this, try to find the meaning of yours. Appreciate your life, do not waste it. =]

Stopped procrastinating at 12:05 PM

Wednesday, July 9, 2008 - :

Just wanted to say something... Something I stumbled upon today..

Conversation....

Girl : She's so hot... You should just go after her.
Guy: Oh come on! Is everything about girls so physical to you?
Girl : Ermm... no? Chill out..
Guy: I'm just looking for someone with something else, not just being hot. Someone i can talk to about things I can't talk to anyone else
Girl : Oh, you're kinda sensitive aren't you?
Guy : NO!! Just keep everything I said to you a secret.

Wow! Reminds me of what I used to stand for.. Do I really still stand for such a statement? Do i? I just know that I've been wanting someone to talk to for a long long time.. Where are you?? Aih.. Maybe she'll just never show up and I'll be an unwanted old man.. =]

Stopped procrastinating at 12:51 AM

Wednesday, July 2, 2008 - :

It's amazing how I still keep what you left behind with me all these times... Naturally, I'm a messy person and would've have probably misplaced it already.. But, i did not.. Something came to my attention, something i sort-of realised.. but chose not to believe.. I can't believe my eyes.. I can't believe i'm saying this... I'm still in love with you..

This is crazy! It's been what? A year? And i'm still hung up about you.. All those times we had still fresh in my memories.. I just raided my 3rd drawer again.. And went through all the notes and letters i got from you.. It wasn't much.. But it was enough to make me realise that I still loved you.. Somewhere deep in my heart.. But, what pain it is to love someone who probably hating you to the brim at this very moment..

Maybe this is why I could never love another before you.. or after you.. I'm confident it isn't my need for affection or my fear of loneliness that drove me to think this way.. Although knowing you'll probably never read this, I just had to write it out.. Before i explode inside.. I used to be an optimistic person till you left me.. It seems I become quite the pessimistic one... How much have you changed? I really want to know..

Labels: emo

Stopped procrastinating at 11:23 PM

Friday, June 27, 2008 - Chef Lai :

YES! Changed the black yet dull blogskin to another black and dull blogskin with a picture... xD

All that's left of my first attempt on Nasi Goreng Udang!

Haha! This is amazingly fun! When you have nothing else better to do, and you still have to study for your finals but u feel so damn lazy to do so... Just blog! It was a horrible experience to attempt to cook...

OmG!

It was so "susah" la! Preparing the ingredients were so difficult.. Blardy prawns all so frozen up.. Needed to soak 'em in water first.. Then chop chop the veg also took some time... Basically, the easiest part was boiling rice and the actual frying process... It's crazy how people can keep cooking everyday! It is so boring... Not fun at all! Shall try never to do so again... xD

Ok ok! Time to attempt to study... Probably won't be studying anyways...

Labels: cooking

Stopped procrastinating at 1:28 AM

Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - :

Great! Something just came up... After so damn long, it's haunting me again... And it's doing it very well... Fine! I did go too far, I was wrong in every aspect imaginable... Does that please you? To hear me say that! Is that what you want to hear? I hope it is.. cuz there's nothing else I can do for you.. Despite my huge amount of flaws, I never failed to cherish you the way you were.. Although I asked for so much more, I still did love you the way you were then... Who doesn't want the perfect relationship, the perfect person to share it with? But to you, you needed space and time and wanted to take it slow.. And it was my bad to offer little space,time and always went too fast.. Didn't we both give everything we had and more? I don't know to feel angry or sad or pityful when I read the post.. And you're not the only 1 who still feels attached... I can still see you everywhere I go... In almost every song, I still remember you.. And btw, here's a promise you broke.. we NEVER remained as friends after the incident.. you always spoke to me like I was a complete stranger which you strongly detested. Your replies were so cold, it was like a knife to my heart... So, if you do come across this.. Just know that I DID love you and DID cherish you the way you were.. And unlike you, I don't loathe or hate the feeling of still being attached.. Unlike you, I still feel a certain amount of affection for you.. AND UNLIKE YOU, I was the one trying to patch us up, not the one giving up on every problem and waiting for me to step up and voice something up! You gave it your all, but you wouldn't have done a damn thing if I didn't always begged for a second chance. If I didn't convince you otherwise, you would've given up a BLOODY long time ago! So, don't credit yourself too much for trying when you only did it when you felt someone else was trying as well. You wouldn't have tried to talk me out of breaking up if I ever brought it up... Cause ever since the start, you;ve always believed that we were two different peoples from different worlds.. And you never believed that it would change.. You believed in my encouragement, my enthusiasm, my relentless spirit, my desperations but you never truly believed in the person I was. You expected me to be someone else as well, only you never said so.. So, don't say you'll smack any statement in my face, cuz I'll just smack a few more on yours!

Stopped procrastinating at 11:00 AM